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Dakota thought for a very long second. Then his face lit up. He stood up, adjusted his cravat, looked Chloe dead in the eye, and said in a perfect, clipped British accent:

“Why, sir,” she said, slipping into a perfect English accent of her own, “I do believe you’re trying to get me to remove your trousers under the pretense of haberdashery. How scandalously efficient of you.” comedy adult films

Chloe broke character. She put down the teacup. “He’s saying he respects my intellect, Dakota. It’s foreplay for the frontal lobe.” Dakota thought for a very long second

They shot seventeen takes. Each one was a disaster. Dakota kept forgetting that the comedy came from delaying the inevitable, not sprinting toward it like a golden retriever after a tennis ball. At one point, he was supposed to accidentally knock over a vase of flowers, a symbol of repressed passion. Instead, he picked up the vase, looked at Chloe, and said, “This is in the way, huh?” and calmly set it outside the set door. How scandalously efficient of you

Dakota looked genuinely confused. “But my frontal lobe isn’t in the contract.”

Finally, in a fit of exhausted inspiration, Mumbles yelled, “Forget the script! Just improvise. What would be funny right now?”

The lighting was soft, expensive, and made everyone look like they’d just returned from a very flattering vacation. On a soundstage in Van Nuys, director Malcolm “Mumbles” Fried was about to shoot the most ambitious project of his career: Pride & Prejudice & Pilates .