The episode ended with a text card: “No torrents were harmed in the making of this story. But Peter’s dignity was.”

Lois threw her hands up. “Peter, this is unwatchable!”

The screen flickered. Instead of the theme song, a grainy clip of Brian wearing an eyepatch appeared. “Yarr,” Brian said flatly. “This be a pirate copy. If you’re watching this, Peter, you’ve already voided your warranty with the universe.”

Lois visited him in holding. “I told you to wait for the Blu-ray.”