Drive Thru Upd — Florida Man Throws Alligator Through

This report is a fictional parody based on the “Florida man” meme archetype. No real arrest or alligator-throwing event occurred on this date.

LaRue reportedly yelled, “Y’all forgot my extra pickles, so here’s a gator on the house.” He then attempted to drive away but was blocked by the Calhoun vehicle. Witness Calhoun stated, “I saw him pull it out of the truck bed. It wasn’t tied up or anything. I screamed.” florida man throws alligator through drive thru

The alligator sustained no apparent injuries. Employee Chen was not physically injured but declined to return to work pending “mental health reassignment.” This report is a fictional parody based on

At approximately 01:47 hours, deputies responded to a 911 call reporting “an alligator thrown through a drive-thru window” at the above location. Upon arrival, officers observed a live, unrestrained alligator inside the restaurant’s order pick-up area, cornered behind a beverage station. The animal was secured by Sarasota County Animal Services / FWC at 02:12 and transported to a rehabilitation facility. Witness Calhoun stated, “I saw him pull it