That’s J. He is the one who holds the cold. He doesn't have a name, but I call him J because he starts sentences with "I just think..." and then never finishes. He is not a separate person. Neither am I. But he carries the fatigue of a body that worked three doubles in a row, even though we only worked one.
The Echo Chamber of Almost
But when K. holds our partner’s hand, she feels love. When J. holds the same hand, he feels obligation . When the Host holds it, they feel fear of losing it . osdd 1b
And because we remember every handoff, every mood swing, every contradiction... we also remember the loneliness of knowing you are a committee, not a captain. That’s J