Because in the end, it’s not about the size of your train—it’s about the efficiency of your engine. And ffmpeg is the finest engineer this side of the Great Freeze.

But the file you have? It’s a 6GB MKV beast full of unnecessary audio dubs, subtitles you’ll never read, and a video bitrate higher than Layton’s blood pressure.

Enter ffmpeg . The Swiss Army chainsaw of video processing.

To turn that into a notification tone (or a sleep loop), use: