Top Gear Cockometer Portable [SECURE 2024]

By the time they reached the Highland hotel, the scores were locked. Jeremy finished with an , having done a three-point turn in a farmer’s driveway just to hear his own exhaust echo off a barn. Richard held a 9.2 —the Porsche had detected him “revving at a horse.” But James…

The true chaos began at a roundabout. Jeremy, refusing to indicate because “everyone knows where I’m going,” saw his rating climb to . The dashboard light turned from amber to flashing red. A new message appeared: “Consider a bicycle.” top gear cockometer

Then James, silent James, found a long, empty A-road. He glanced at the rearview mirror, smirked—a tiny, forbidden smirk—and planted his foot. The Volvo wheezed from 60 to 78 mph over forty-seven seconds. But the act of trying in a beige box was so profoundly cockish that his meter slowly, inexorably, ticked up to . “Oh, for heaven’s sake,” he muttered. The meter ticked to 4.5 for complaining. By the time they reached the Highland hotel,

Jeremy clapped him on the back. “You see, May? The quiet ones. They’re the biggest cocks of all.” Jeremy, refusing to indicate because “everyone knows where

“That’s impossible!” James cried.