Zern draws the condensation on the bun. The priest’s tiny vestment is stretched over the meat. In panel four, a parishioner whispers, “Forgive me, Father, for I have… relish.” The priest just oozes mustard. It’s sacrilegious, sweaty, and makes you nauseous for reasons you can’t explain. Sick rating: 🤢🤢🤢🤢 2. “Nose Bones” (2001) Premise: A man discovers that his nose contains a tiny, fragile skeleton. He becomes obsessed with showing it to people.
Here’s our breakdown of Zern’s sickest work to date. Viewer discretion is advised (and encouraged). Premise: A Catholic priest turns into a sentient, leaking hot dog during Sunday mass. He still has to hear confessions.
This comic was rejected by three alt-weeklies for being “too much.” It’s Zern at his peak—body horror, family trauma, and a punchline that leaves you hollow. Tom Zern’s comics aren’t for everyone. They’re for the sickos. The people who laugh when a cartoon foot turns into a mushroom. The ones who appreciate that a drawing of a sad, leaking hot dog can be funnier than any three-panel sitcom strip. zerns sickest comics
Zern draws Uncle Smiles with human teeth and deflated, veiny scrotum-texture. In one panel, Uncle Smiles eats a corn dog through his ear . The final strip shows him floating away while whispering, “You didn’t want the stuffed giraffe anyway.” It’s surreal, predatory, and deeply unsettling. 4. “The Worm Who Signed a Lease” (2010) Premise: A sentient, necktie-wearing worm signs a 12-month lease on a studio apartment. He cannot operate the stove.
The Gutter Crew Date: April 14, 2026
Let us know in the comments. But please—describe it with your inside voice.
Zern’s genius is turning mundane body horror into comedy. The nose-bones have little joints. There’s a two-page spread of the guy sneezing, and the bones fly out like a bizarre xylophone. One strip ends with his friend saying, “Put those back.” The man replies, “They don’t fit anymore.” You’ll laugh. Then you’ll touch your own nose. Then you’ll feel sick. 3. “Uncle Smiles at the County Fair” (2007) Premise: A deformed, grinning balloon animal named Uncle Smiles wins every carnival game but refuses to give anyone the prizes. Zern draws the condensation on the bun
Tom Zern isn’t a household name. He’s more like that fever dream you had after eating expired cheese at 2 AM. For decades, Zern has lurked in the grimy corners of alt-weeklies, mini-comics, and punk zines, drawing stuff that makes The Far Side look like a Hallmark card. We’re talking comics that are —not in a "cool" 90s way, but in a deeply, gloriously, physically wrong way.